MW My houseguest left heat marks all over my table. I didn't notice them until she was gone. Do I ask her to pay to remove them?
By Quentin Fottrell
'What drives me crazy is that she didn't mention it'
"I only later saw that she made around six heat marks on my wooden 1960s Broyhill Brasilia table, and had attempted to scrub one." (Photo subject is a model.)
Dear Quentin,
I did a house swap with a young woman on HomeExchange. No money or guest points were exchanged, as it was reciprocal. I left her a memo with all the instructions: Neither of us wears shoes at home, and I just asked her to leave my home as she found it. I told her I would take care of the towels and bed linen, etc. She did the same for me. So far, so good. I came home and wrote her a nice review as she was very easy to deal with, and it was her first exchange.
I prefer to use HomeExchange over Airbnb $(ABNB)$, as no money changes hands, but both sites offer large amounts of compensation for liability insurance. I left her a good review with five stars across the board, but I only later saw that she made around six heat marks on my wooden 1960s Broyhill Brasilia table, and had attempted to scrub one. What drives me crazy is that she didn't mention it. Is it worth reaching out to ask her why she would do that and not tell me?
Disappointed Host
Related: Is it unethical to use AI in my Airbnb photos to market my property to guests?
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She already knows what she did. It's more emotional labor for you, with little payback.
Dear Host,
The perils of leaving a five-star review on a wing and a prayer.
Your instinct is correct in many respects. First of all, I agree that you don't necessarily need to write, "Please don't put hot beverages and bowls on my French-polished wooden table from the 1960s." But unfortunately, not everyone has the same knowledge of midcentury furniture. It's not that she didn't care (although some people might argue that thoughtlessness is tantamount to carelessness) but that she probably didn't know any better.
When she did discover her mistake, that's when she really needed to take responsibility for what she had done. It may be that she panicked. That can lead to bad decision-making. She's an adult, so 'fessing up was obviously the ethical and right thing to do. Instead, she unwisely took a soapy dishcloth to your table, which probably made the problem worse. What started as an innocent mistake ended up as a bad cover-up.
Do you tell her? Honestly, the satisfaction of telling her that you know she permanently stained your table (unless you have a professional refinisher try to fix it, which could cost $150 to $500 or more) will be short-lived. And you can't undo the five-star review. The damage to the table is done. And telling her will achieve what, exactly? "I know what you did last summer with your hot cups of tea?" She already knows what she did. It's more emotional labor for you, with little actual payback.
What if this person had been a friend or relative, rather than a HomeExchange or Airbnb guest? If there was a friendship at stake here, rather than a random guest who you will never see again, I would absolutely recommend that you reach out to the person to ask why they left your table in such distress without mentioning it to you. In that situation, I would suggest splitting the cost of fixing the table 50/50. Some friendships can survive such infractions; others cannot.
A more detailed 'welcome pack'
But it's also a reminder to put other requests into your welcome pack for guests, even if they seem obvious to you. You could start with "Please don't burn down my house" and "Make sure you turn off the taps to prevent flooding the basement" and work your way down the list to "Please don't put hot plates on the wooden table." Sad as it sounds, you sometimes have to state the obvious and make sure the person's card is marked, if only for reference after the fact.
If you want this guest to pay for the French polishing, you have an extra incentive to reopen this line of communication - and the wound. But be warned. It could lead to a marathon of texts to get her to admit to what she did and then to pay several hundred dollars to fix the stains now that you've already left a five-star review. Or she may not respond at all. That last option may end up making you feel even worse. Another possibility: She may react with anger.
You could write something along the lines of: "Hi, Mary. I hope you're well. After settling back in, I noticed quite a few heat marks on the dining table that weren't there before the swap. I wanted to check in with you to see what happened at your end. I'm not upset - accidents happen - but I'd appreciate knowing what happened so I can figure out the best way to repair it." You could opt to add, "I also think it would be fair if you would pay the cost of fixing it."
Your five-star review is also a lesson to check the house from top to bottom before writing a review. I understand that when a house swap appears to go well, you can return home on a high, thinking, "I just got 10 days in Paris for the price of the flights only," compounded by the fact that your house appears to be in good shape when you walk through the door. But not everyone knows how to treat other people's property, and not everyone knows how to say they're sorry.
There will inevitably be some wear and tear if you are having strangers stay in your house. They won't be familiar with how certain fixtures and fittings operate - from sliding doors to shower handles - and things will inevitably get broken. So rather than get upset every time that happens, it's better to pre-empt the accidents with as much detailed preparation as possible. At the top of your memo, write, "Please read all of this before you embark on the house swap."
It will signal that there is important information that should not be missed.
Don't miss: 'This guy has no manners': My Airbnb guest requested I buy bacon and beer. The $30 bill remains unpaid. Do I insist?
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By emailing your questions to the Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on the Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.
-Quentin Fottrell
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June 23, 2026 09:01 ET (13:01 GMT)
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